Monday, July 19, 2010

Letting go...

I've been helping my mom clean out my grandma's house lately.  It's been quite an many memories!  My grandma has kept everything.  I mean, EVERYTHING!  It is interesting to go through, but it also makes me so much more aware of what I am holding on to.  I've done pretty well most of my adult life.  I don't keep things "just because' for the most part, but I do hold on to a few items because of sentimental reasons or out of guilt. 

There are clothes in my closet that I haven't worn in years (or ever!) but I keep them because they were my favorite outfits 10 years ago.  I hope to be cute and fit into them again...but I finally realized about 3 months ago that I will NEVER be that size again.  I'm not too much bigger, but having children has made me a different shape.  My hips will never fit into a juniors size 4 pair of jeans, no matter how much weight I lose, because my bones have shifted around!'s time for a major closet overhaul! 

I have so many pictures, from all stages of my life, sitting around in various places.  There are scrapbooks full of loose items waiting to be made up for my boys.  There are boxes and albums full of old no one will really ever look at.  Yet I can't bring myself to get rid of them.  Pictures are memories...I am hopelessly addicted to photography.  Thank GOD for digital photography.  I hope to one day get a scanner of high enough quality to scan in photos and negatives and not lose any resolution, but until that day comes I just can't get rid of the clutter of old photos.  Maybe I can make enough money from selling my old clothes to buy the scanner...

Last, but definitely not least...BABY STUFF!!!  I have 2 precious little boys (2 and 4 years old).  In my garage sits all the baby equipment from said little boys.  We aren't through having kids, but with things the way they are now we aren't sure when or even if that will happen.  Holding on to all this stuff seems silly, but so does buying new stuff if the time ever comes that we need it again. 

Aside from material posessions that I have issues getting rid of, there are also relationships I have clung to for far too long...people whom I considered as close as family at one time.  The relationships used to be effortless and happy, and now it's just draining.  I need to let go, accept the fact that we are not the same people we once were, and move on. 

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