Sunday, October 17, 2010

Junky junk...

A few weeks ago we had a garage sale.  We sold quite a bit of stuff, and took most of the leftover to donate.  The stuff we didn't take to donate is still sitting in the garage.  So WHY do I still see JUNK everywhere I look in my house?  So much of it is just toy clutter, which is not something I can totally do away with..unless I want a 2 and 4 year old mad at me for eternity. 

However, there is an entire corner full of "crafty stuff".  Items I have purchased over the last 10 or so years which originally had a purpose but I can no longer remember it.  I want to spend my days creating things with these items.  To see the pile of junky stuff dwindle into a pile of neat items I can gift/sell/use. 

I need focus.  Motivation.  Anti-depressants.  SOMETHING!!  I have time.  I sit here all day with two little munchkins...why can I not get anything done?  I have gotten stuck in yet another rut.  This time it's a rut of boredom.  I am bored.  Boredom makes me feel depressed.  Depression takes away my motivation to get anything done.  I sit here and do the same, mundane, repetitive tasks every day...which in turn makes me even more bored.  It's a vicious cycle and I NEED to break it.  How?

I've noticed a glass  (or two) of wine in the evening not only makes me less stressed, but gives me energy.  I can suddenly finish editing pictures, fold and put away clothes, write, clean, do get the idea.  In the hopes of NOT becoming an alcoholic, I need to find a way to get this same effect in a more socially acceptable way (Not that drinking is all bad...but I need something that I can do first thing in the morning to get me going for the day.  A glass of wine for breakfast not only sounds DISGUSTING but also screams 'raging alcoholic!").  I'd prefer NOT to take medication, but I'm so over I will do whatever it takes at this point. more thing to research and have to follow through on.  Who says I don't have a job....?

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