A few weeks ago we had a garage sale. We sold quite a bit of stuff, and took most of the leftover to donate. The stuff we didn't take to donate is still sitting in the garage. So WHY do I still see JUNK everywhere I look in my house? So much of it is just toy clutter, which is not something I can totally do away with..unless I want a 2 and 4 year old mad at me for eternity.
However, there is an entire corner full of "crafty stuff". Items I have purchased over the last 10 or so years which originally had a purpose but I can no longer remember it. I want to spend my days creating things with these items. To see the pile of junky stuff dwindle into a pile of neat items I can gift/sell/use.
I need focus. Motivation. Anti-depressants. SOMETHING!! I have time. I sit here all day with two little munchkins...why can I not get anything done? I have gotten stuck in yet another rut. This time it's a rut of boredom. I am bored. Boredom makes me feel depressed. Depression takes away my motivation to get anything done. I sit here and do the same, mundane, repetitive tasks every day...which in turn makes me even more bored. It's a vicious cycle and I NEED to break it. How?
I've noticed a glass (or two) of wine in the evening not only makes me less stressed, but gives me energy. I can suddenly finish editing pictures, fold and put away clothes, write, clean, do dishes...you get the idea. In the hopes of NOT becoming an alcoholic, I need to find a way to get this same effect in a more socially acceptable way (Not that drinking is all bad...but I need something that I can do first thing in the morning to get me going for the day. A glass of wine for breakfast not only sounds DISGUSTING but also screams 'raging alcoholic!"). I'd prefer NOT to take medication, but I'm so over being...well....me...that I will do whatever it takes at this point.
Yay...one more thing to research and have to follow through on. Who says I don't have a job....?
Sunday, October 17, 2010
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